


A Map With Your Name For a Capital

by Tdtori



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-30 19:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tdtori/pseuds/Tdtori
Summary: Alex isn't sure how this is the same Colton who fucked him against a hotel wall in San Jose. How the kind-faced and soft-spoken one is the same one as the one in San Jose. He isn't sure which one he likes more, honestly. “Yeah,” he says, his voice breaking a bit, “yeah, of course I trust you.”





	A Map With Your Name For a Capital

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmonautically](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmonautically/gifts).



> Happy LATE (yikes I'm sorry about that) anniversary, Ryn! I hope you love this as much as you love me lmao.
> 
> (One day I'll stop titling fic after Richard Siken poetry, I promise.)

Alex does  _ not  _ want to call Colton. It’s nothing against Colton, per se, but he hates asking for help. He isn’t the guy to ask for help, he’s the guy that people come to for help. Which is probably why two days ago Army called him to tell him that the organization has decided to make him the new captain. Part of him wants to decline, he isn’t sure if he’s the right guy for the job and he’s going to be replacing  _ David Backes. _ It’s been over a month since David signed in Boston and Alex still hasn’t forgiven him. It’s been months since they broke up and Alex hasn’t forgiven him for that either. 

 

Who the hell breaks up with their boyfriend  _ right before  _ playoffs start? The breakup got even messier during playoffs when - well - Alex doesn’t want to think about it. 

 

Finally, his thumb presses the green call button and he waits for Colton to pick up. 

 

“Hullo?” Colton sounds like he just woke up even though Alex knows for a fact that Colton never sleeps in. It is the offseason, but Alex thinks he still wouldn’t sleep in. It’s been months since Alex has heard Colton’s voice and it takes him by surprise a little bit. Like, oh right, that’s what he sounds like. “Petro?”

 

It takes him another moment to actually reply. “Hey, I, uh, need your help.” 

 

There’s a pause and Alex thinks he hears talking in the background, it sounds like Fabbs and Eddy bickering about something stupid. A lovers quarrel. “You need my help? With what?”

 

“My captain speech.” 

 

Colton laughs and it makes Alex smile, he’s missed that sound (even if Colton is laughing at him). “How hard can it be? You just thank your teammates, your family, the organization and then say how you hope to be the first Blues captain to lift the Cup.” 

 

It really isn’t that simple in Alex’s mind. He has to show the media, the fans, the organization that he takes this seriously. Besides, he wants to make an impression and not just say the same cliche bullshit. “C’mon I want someone with a college degree to help me on this.” 

 

“You do know I wasn’t an english major, right?” Colton’s laughing again and Alex is close to hanging up and asking Shatty to help him instead.

 

“ _ Yes _ , I know. Colton, please, I’ll buy you lunch and you can pick the restaurant.” 

 

Colton hums and pauses. “Are you begging me?”

 

Alex’s throat goes dry and for a moment he can’t find his words. “No, I’m not begging. I don’t beg. I'm just  _ asking.  _ I can get Shatty to help if you say no.”

 

(It was one time. After they won the series against Dallas to send them to Western Conference Finals the whole team got drunk and Colton, who wasn’t that drunk, pulled Alex onto the dance floor.

 

“I’m too old for this,” He complained, but Colton put his hands on hips and Alex quickly found the beat to move his hips too.)

 

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” 

 

It’s going to be the first time he sees Colton since locker clean out day. He knows he’s making this into a big deal and it’s not. At all. They hooked up twice while slightly drunk and that was that. He knows that other guys on the team hooked up with each other, it’s no big deal. 

 

He gets a phone call ten minutes after Colton’s text. From David. Because David always has had spectacular timing. Alex doesn’t answer, lets it go to voicemail and then plays the recording.

 

“Hey, Petro...Alex, it’s David. I just wanted to congratulate you on being named captain. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my successor and you’re going to do a great job.” There’s a pause in the message and Alex wonders if it’s ended without him knowing. “I’m sorry. If I could go back and change what happened between us I would. Good luck this season.”

 

Alex still isn’t going to forgive him. It would have to take more than a phone call for that, so it’s a good thing David will be playing in a completely different state in a completely different conference. What he would like is for David to not call him or do anything to make him remember that they dated and dated quite seriously. 

 

The ring is still in his sock drawer. He should throw it out, but he can't bring himself to do it. Part of him is still holding out that David will come back and everything will go back to the way it was. Maybe he should call Vladi to throw it away for him. Vladi’s always been good at being blunt and straight to the point, no bullshit. And Vladi will crack only one joke about Alex still having the damn ring, which is lower than what Shatty would make. 

 

He would ask Colton, but it feels awkward having Colton do it. Alex doesn't think Colton would feel awkward about it, but he sure as hell would. 

 

(The other time was after they lost the Western Conference Finals and it was very different compared to their drunk celebratory sex. It felt a little bit like how David would fuck him, which.

 

Alex cannot think about. Not then and not now.)

 

When Colton gets there he doesn’t knock, just opens the door and says, “Hey, I’m here!”

 

“In the dining room!” He shouts back looking over the notes he took. Colton looks tan and stronger than he did back in May, according to his Instagram his family went on vacation in the Bahamas and he started seeing a new trainer. Alex tries not to stare or do anything else that would be embarrassing.  “Here, you want to look over what I got?”   
  
Colton sits down in the chair beside him and reads over the notes on the legal pad Alex wrote them on. “You don’t have a whole lot. Don’t they expect you to make at least a five minute speech?”

 

Alex takes back his piece of paper, which he thought had plenty on it. “I don’t know, I’ve never done this before!” How much can he talk about the same thing before it gets redundant? He would look up the speech David made, but he's already tried googling it to no avail. And  _ asking  _ David is completely out of the question. 

 

“You should really talk about the team after you do all the thank yous. What this team means to you, the city, stuff like that.” Colton takes the pen on the table and grabs the paper back from Alex. He then jots down the ideas he just said and puts the cap of the pen in his mouth.

 

He’s about to stop him since that is  _ his  _ pen, but instead he stares for a moment then looks back down at the paper. “I should talk about David, shouldn’t I?”

 

Colton puts the pen down and looks at Alex as he sighs. “It would be rude not to, Alex. I mean, he was  _ your _ …” Alex scoffs, “your captain,” he finishes. “You can be a professional about this. You were professional to him the last few months, at least on the ice.”

 

“Can we not talk about my breakup?” Alex tries to keep his voice even, but it still sounds strained and angry. “I’ll mention David and thank him for...helping me know what a captain is suppose to be.” 

 

Colton jots that down on the paper too, for now, it’s just rough ideas and the bare bones of an actual outline. “But also how you aren't trying to copy David, you're wanting to leave your own mark on the team.” 

 

Alex nods, and leans forward to see Colton write it down. His handwriting is neat, but so small that Alex can barely read it. He wonders offhandedly how his professors read anything he wrote. “I guess I'll work on actually writing shit down later.”

 

“I think you're overthinking this,” Colton says, turning in his chair a bit so he can face him. “You're just...talking about how happy you are and what you want to accomplish. Nobody is going to care  _ that  _ much about what you're saying.”

 

“Thanks, Colton, that  _ really  _ makes me feel better.” Alex rolls his eyes and gets up from the table.

 

Colton follows suit and puts a hand on Alex’s shoulder, his hand feels hot against his t-shirt. “You know that's not what I meant. It's going to go over fine.”

  
  


Deep down Alex knows that he's right. No one is going to sit there and criticize his speech, because it isn't that important. All the media is going to care about is the fact that  _ he  _ is being made captain. For now, he doesn't want to think about it anymore. “So, lunch, where do you want to go?”

 

Colton drives them to a small restaurant where they can eat out on the patio and drink beer while people watching. He's never been here, but maybe it's a new restaurant. Either way Alex doesn't ask, because part of the deal was that Colton got to pick the restaurant.  

 

“Who are going to be your ‘A’s?” Colton asks before he takes a drink of his beer. “If you're allowed to pick.”

 

Alex raises an eyebrow and smiles a little bit. “Army asked for suggestions and I suggested Vladi, Stas, Shatty, and that Steen keeps his. Four is a lot though, so I don't know if I'll get all four. I would suggest you, but...you did just complete your rookie year and they may not let you have it.”

 

“Really? You would want me to be one of you alternates?” Colton looks genuinely shocked, like he isn't one of the most reliable guys on the team already and like he isn't going to be their defenseman at some point. And like Alex doesn't consider him one of his best friends. 

 

Alex kicks his shin and rolls his eyes. “I mean...you'll get it next year, I think. Shatty won't be here next year and you're next in line. You'll be Vladi’s ‘A’ after me.” He figures that's what will happen at least. Management seems to be putting more and more trust in Vladi and wanting him to lead the team. 

  
  


He also knows that Colton will be an alternate that could be a captain somewhere else. 

 

He hopes by that point the team will have won a cup. Or two. The pressure of winning the team’s first cup is already weighing him down and he doesn't even really have the ‘C’ yet. He knows how much stress it caused David and how absolutely heartbreaking it was when they lost to the Sharks. He knows he  _ has  _ to win a cup, he can't pass that stress down to Vladi and whoever comes after him.

 

Colton smiles softly and finishes off his beer. “It really means a lot that...that you have that sort of trust in me.”

 

Alex isn't sure how this is the same Colton who fucked him against a hotel wall in San Jose. How the kind-faced and soft-spoken one is the same one as the one in San Jose. He isn't sure which one he likes more, honestly. “Yeah,” he says, his voice breaking a bit, “yeah, of course I trust you.” 

 

\-----

 

He takes Vladi out to dinner one night to tell him that he's getting an ‘A’. The dinner is nothing fancy, but he didn't want to tell him over the phone. 

 

“Who are your other ‘A’s?” He asks as he takes a bite of his sandwich. 

 

Alex takes a drink of his water, suddenly too anxious thinking about the press conference to eat his salad. “Stas, Shatty, and Steen.”

 

Vladi hums and raises an eyebrow, “No Colton?”

 

His stomach churns and Alex takes a bit just so he has some time to think of an answer that won't give him away or be embarrassing. “He's young. I mean, he just finished his rookie year. Might as well give him some time.”

 

“I thought he proved himself to be a leader,” says Vladi with a smile and it's in that instant that Alex knows he's being fucked with. 

 

He didn't tell anyone about him and Colton, but Vladi was the first - and only - to figure it out. Really, Alex wasn't exactly  _ subtle  _ about it. Even when they were on the plane back to St. Louis he was acting weird. “Oh fuck off. It isn't like you haven't hooked up with anyone on the team.” 

 

Vladi just shrugs, that sort of stuff doesn't really bother him. “Does he know you're...that you like him as more than just a hook-up?”

 

Alex wants to shrink into his chair and have this conversation not happen. He wants Vladi to stop prying into his love life, or lack thereof, and to just be happy he's getting an ‘A’. They haven't talked about it, not that there's anything to talk about, but he figures that Colton has forgotten about it. 

 

Besides, they're friends and he doesn't want to make it weird by talking about it. 

 

“No, and I'm not going to. It's...it'll go away,” he smiles and drinks the rest of his water, ignoring the look Vladi is giving him by looking at his phone.

 

**_How’s the speech coming along?_ **

 

Colton’s timing has always been impeccable.

 

\-----

  
  


It's a few days before the press conference and Alex’s speech is...well, he always was a procrastinator in school. At this point he should be practicing, trying to memorize it, but instead he's staring at the outline he and Colton created. 

 

He's also incredibly nervous because he  _ actually has to give a speech _ in front of management and the team and past captains. Maybe they should've given the captaincy to Vladi or Steen or someone who isn't him. 

 

Yet again he finds himself dialing Colton’s number to ask for help. Colton picks up after what seems like the millionth ring, but he's there. “I need your help.”

 

“I'm sure your speech is fine,” he says immediately. The background is pretty loud and he can only imagine that Colton is actually  _ out _ somewhere. It sounds like he's in a bathroom of a club.

 

Alex sighs and looks at the outline again. “Um, that's the thing, Colton. I haven't actually...written it. But it sounds like you're busy, so I'll just let you go. Have fun.” He doesn't mean to sound like an asshole, but his words come out like a bitter boyfriend. 

 

“It's...Alex, it's fine. Fabbs and Eddy wanted to get me out of the apartment,” Colton says something else but Alex can't hear him, “I  _ said  _ do you want to come out?”

 

He almost drops the phone on the table, instead he doesn't say anything for quite a while. It's such a terrible idea, but Alex humors it for a moment. “I have to finish this speech, it's in three days and...I'm not sure if management would like if I went  _ clubbing  _ before they officially named me as captain. Also I'm way too old to go to a club.”

 

“Didn't stop you during playoffs!” Colton laughs and...no, he really can't go out. Not three days before the biggest moment of his career. And especially not when he's trying to suppress how much he  _ likes  _ Colton and how if they sleep together again he'd really like them to be sober for it.

 

Alex tells Colton to have fun and hangs up promptly. He makes a pot of coffee and starts to actually write his speech. He does not answer his phone when Colton calls again or drunkenly texts him. By the time two in the morning rolls around, Alex is sure he has a pretty good speech. 

 

\-----

 

At around ten in the morning the next day Colton shows up on his doorstep, sunglasses on and with a large mug of coffee. “Wanted to stop by and see how your speech is coming along.”

 

Alex does his best not to laugh as he lets him in. “Have fun last night?”

 

Colton just groans and sits down at the kitchen island, keeping his sunglasses on, as he finds the paper that has the speech on it. “This is why I don't go out drinking. Not since we...lost in the Western Conference Finals.” There's a lull and Alex coughs awkwardly, it's the first time either of them have mentioned it. “That was a terrible night.”

 

“I mean, it wasn't…” Alex mumbles, “it wasn't all that bad…” Or maybe it really sucked for Colton, because he regrets fucking Alex. Christ, he hadn't even thought about that.

 

Colton looks at him funny, like he's trying to figure out just what he meant. They both know what Alex meant. “I mean...I wish we had won, yknow? And that I didn't wake up the next morning still drunk.”

 

Alex nods his head, trying not to give himself away, but before he can stop himself, “The sex wasn't terrible.” At least he stops himself before saying  _ better than David most of the time.  _

 

There's a long, long pause until Colton laughs a bit. “It wasn't terrible,” he says in agreement before looking back down at the paper.

 

He wants to disappear or go back two minutes to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth. How can be this careless with his words and still end up being a captain of a fucking NHL team is beyond him at this point. It helps that he's a little smarter and professional on the ice, but still. He'd really like to be able to think about his words a little more.

 

“Sit,” Colton says, patting the bar stool next to him, “there are a few parts I want to go over.” Alex obeys like he has with him before. “I think you can go a little more in depth with your thanks to David. He deserves more than just two sentence. And I want you to talk about how excited you are for the future, even more than what you already have written, as in how much we’ve improved since you first got here.”

 

Alex nods and grabs the pen out of Colton’s hand and new piece of paper to rewrite the speech. “I think I thanked David enough. It's not like I need to wax poetry about him.”

 

Colton laughs and grabs the pen back from Alex. “Just write  _ one  _ more sentence about David, then.” 

 

“I can't do that with you taking the pen, asshole,” he mumbles with a smile. 

 

“You don't need to rewrite the entire speech, Petro. Just make your additions in the margins, don't do more work than you have to.” Colton hands the pen back and takes his sunglasses off, “Fuck, it's still bright.”

 

Alex starts making his additions before looking up at Colton, laughing quietly, “That’ll teach you not to drink excessively.”

 

“Can you make some coffee?” Colton says with a smile and Alex rolls his eyes. “ _ Please,  _ Alex, I'm begging you.”

 

He bites his tongue and makes sure to not raise his eyebrows. It's a throwaway line. It doesn't mean  _ anything _ . Colton just wants coffee, because he's ridiculously hungover, that's all. “Since you begged, I guess.”

 

They sit in quiet drinking their coffee while Alex makes his edits and additions. The paper looks like it's been through the ringer with all the ink over it and how many times Alex has folded it. “I think it's done. Take another look?”

 

Colton looks more alive now that he's had, at least, five cups of coffee. Looks more like the Colton that shows up to practices and game days instead of drunk-mess Colton. Alex definitely prefers this Colton who is serious and funny and calm and... _ Colton.  _

 

“It looks good. You wanna practice actually saying it?” Colton hands him back the paper and the nerves come back at full force.

 

Somehow he keeps forgetting how he actually has to speak it and not just write it down. Alex, however, nods and sits up straight on his chair. He has to look at the paper for most of it, but he thinks he does okay for his first read through.

 

Colton thinks otherwise just based on his expression. “It sounds good, but you sound wooden like you don't mean what you're saying...okay, don't hate me, but...”

 

“But what?”

 

“What if you put the paper down and then say what you think comes next or what you feel like should come next?”

 

They do that for what seems like hours, until Alex is  _ done  _ saying the same words over and over again. “Fuck, I promised Steener I'd have lunch with him.” Alex remembers when he checks his phone thanks to a text from the Swede.

 

Colton smiles and stands up, putting his sunglasses back on and grabbing his mug. “You're going to do great, Alex, really. It's a good speech.”

 

“Thanks to you,” he smiles back and watches Colton drive off before getting into his own car. 

 

He really just wants to get the speech over with and he’ll feel much better.

 

\-----

 

Getting dressed is a problem, his fingers shake around the buttons on his shirt which causes him to button it up crookedly and then his pair of black dress shoes are nowhere to be found until he just so happens to check in the bathroom linen closet. Somehow Alex still manages to get to ScottTrade ahead of schedule. 

 

They show him the final cut of the video they’re going to play, which talks to past captains and himself and coaches and management. It’s while he watches that video that it sets in that he’s going to be  _ captain  _ of this team. 

 

He ends up not looking at the paper that has his speech on it, because he doesn’t want to keep having to look down. Besides, Colton was right, he sounds less wooden when he isn’t reading off a piece of paper. 

 

It’s not the world’s greatest speech, hell it isn’t the best speech probably given by a Blues captain, but everyone claps at the end and really, what more can he ask for? 

 

The entire team goes out to lunch, the last time they’ll all be in the same place before training camp; besides the few of them that are playing in the World Cup and will be in Toronto. 

 

The guys who have been there a while, Bergy, Jori, Reaver and the like, tell stories about Alex when he was a rookie and what he was like in his first years in the league. How quiet he was, but there was a spark of  _ something more.  _

 

“It wasn’t until Dave became captain that I think we really saw what Petro could be,” Bergy says with a smile. He doesn’t know, really only Vladi and Colton know, but the way he smiles at Alex makes him think otherwise. “And of course, we all knew that Vladi was going to get a letter sooner rather than later!”

 

Alex sighs, thankful that the attention is off of him for now. 

 

“It was a good speech. Glad you took my advice about not reading off the paper,” Colton says into his ear and Alex just smiles at him. “You’re going to do great.” 

 

He has to be. If he has a shitty season, if the  _ team  _ has a shitty season, he could have it stripped away. It’s going to be a hard year without David, Brouw, and Ells leading the way, but he has faith in these twenty something guys. 

 

Alex leans over to Colton, still smiling, “Thanks for helping me. The speech wouldn’t have been near as good as it was without you.”

 

“Had to put my college degree to some use!”

 

The table goes through at least four wine bottles and Alex had at least four glasses, because someone - Hutts, the new guy, go figure - kept filling him up. “Let  _ loose,  _ Captain!” Alex wants to argue that the last couple of times he’s let loose he ended up fucking a rookie, but he manages to keep his mouth firmly shut. 

 

Colton does not drink that much, Alex thinks he had maybe two glasses, which might be why he finds himself being driven home in his car. “You didn’t need to drive me home. I know how to get an Uber.” His words are only slurring slightly, still some control over what he’s saying.

 

“I don’t mind, Petro. Figured you’d rather I take you home than Uber,” he smiles and taps a random beat with his left hand on the steering wheel. “I’ve done it before.”

 

Alex flushes a bit and he kind of wishes they would stop talking about how they hooked up, especially while he’s drunk and barely has control over what he’s saying. “Yeah, but you aren’t  _ taking me home  _ this time. Unless there’s something you need to tell me.”

 

He watches Colton fidget for a moment. “No, no, I’m not going to have sex with you, Alex.” His voice is tight and he doesn’t look at Alex for the rest of the car ride.

 

When they get to his house Colton helps him up to the door and unlocks it for him. “Thanks, Colton, I’ll…” He pauses and notices how his hand is over Colton’s on the doorknob. “Have a good summer. See you in...September.” He tries to move, but instead he stays planted on his front porch. Part of him wonders why Colton isn’t leaving, but then Colton kisses him.

 

It’s gentle and over in a blink of an eye and by the time Alex realizes what just happened Colton is already in his car backing out of the driveway. 

 

He stands on the porch for a minute, trying to figure out what exactly that kiss meant. It doesn’t make sense, at all, in Alex’s drunk brain, so he goes inside and goes to sleep. 

 

In the morning his hungover brain still can’t figure out the kiss.

 

He thinks about texting Colton, but it seemed like Colton was embarrassed by it, so bringing it back up might not be ideal. There’s also the fact that Colton may be banking on the fact that Alex wasn’t going to remember. 

 

\-----

 

The group chat is all but dead during the summer, a few guys asking if anyone is going to be at  in big cities across Europe or at beaches to hang out, but other than that it’s fairly quiet. 

 

His training for the World Cup, and the season, has started, so it isn’t like he has time to text the guys, but he has a bad feeling in his stomach about the guys not texting each other. It’s stupid, because everyone is relaxing or gearing up for the season, but something about it just unsettles him. 

 

No one has texted him individually either, except for a few of the new draftees, which doesn’t mean anything, but he wonders if everyone else is having this bad feeling about the season.

 

Or maybe Alex is just overthinking everything, because this is going to be his first season as captain. 

 

\-----

 

**_We should grab lunch in Toronto, since you are the GTA guy._ **

 

Colton texts him almost as soon as he gets off his plane in Pearson. It’s the first time Colton has texted him all summer and the first time they’ve talked since Colton’s weird kiss-and-dash. 

 

Alex shoots back with a list of restaurants and makes his way to the hotel where the rest of the Team Canada guys are staying. Bo isn’t too far behind him, struggling to keep up since it took him a while to find his luggage. He almost invites Bo to lunch with them, but...he wants this lunch to just be them. 

 

(Part of him is thinking that maybe Colton will explain that kiss, because no way is Alex going to bring it up. So having Bo there would just make him an awkward third wheel with two people who aren’t even a couple.)

 

After he gets checked in he makes his way down to the restaurant, a little bistro that isn’t too far away from where he’s staying (and where he’s assuming all the other World Cup players are staying). 

 

Colton is already at the restaurant with a beer, looking exhausted, but he manages a smile when Alex sits down at the table. “Long time no see.” 

 

“It helps when  _ someone  _ doesn’t talk to me all summer besides when we’re all back in St. Louis,” He mumbles and orders a beer for himself. 

 

He blushes and looks down into his glass before back up at Alex. “It’s nothing personal. I was busy with visiting back home, finishing up my degree, and then training. There was also the time difference.” 

 

Excuses, Alex thinks. There were plenty of days and hours for Colton to text him, even just once to say  _ hope your summer is going well!  _ But Alex doesn’t say that out loud, he doesn’t want Colton to leave. “It’s fine, I was teasing. I have to admit, I’m not super excited for this tournament. I’d rather be in training camp right now.” 

 

Once he says that he’s joking Colton’s face relaxes. “Yeah, they’re trying too hard to create a replacement for the Olympics, but...you can’t replace the Olympics.” 

 

The small talk about the tournament and their summers is, well, small. Alex wants to ask about the kiss, but it already gets awkward enough when either of them talk about how the fucked even though that was back in May. Instead, Alex decides it’s better to just keep it all in and try to manage how to interact with Colton without mentioning the other parts of their relationship.

 

“I can’t remember the last time I was in Toronto that wasn’t when we played the Leafs. I don’t think I could live here,” He says with a laugh as someone who  _ does _ live here gives him a look. “I’m not really a fan of really big cities. It’s why I always hate going out when we visit New York City, it’s too crazy.”

 

The only thing that Alex has ever known is the GTA, played midget hockey and triple A hockey here. But the city is intimidatingly large and intense at times, it's part of the reason he loves St. Louis. It's still a major city, but it's more laid back than a New York or Toronto. “What? Are you saying you don’t want to experience the crazy Toronto nightlife for yourself?” 

 

Colton huffs out a little laugh and shakes his head. “Well, only if you’re going out with me.” 

 

Alex chokes on his beer and Colton is definitely flirting with him in this tiny restaurant in Toronto. Really, he isn't sure what exactly to do about it. He figures he should probably flirt back, but...he's still second guessing himself, and Colton for that matter. “I mean, would you want me to?” 

 

It's such a loaded question, but maybe it'll force Colton to show his hand. Maybe this way Alex can see if he's being serious or just kidding. 

 

“Yeah, I'm sure the rest of the youngster guys will be going out. Might as well bring someone I actually know,” says Colton with a shrug and that...really doesn't help him figure out what Colton is feeling.

 

Alex finishes his beer in one gulp. “Yeah, sounds fun.”

 

\-----

 

Canada beats the Czech Republic easily, and Alex picks up a goal, which means the rest of the guys decide to go out. 

 

**_So, are you coming out?_ **

 

He reads Colton’s text while the team is deciding which bar to go to, most of them are from the GTA and at least think they know which bar is the best. He thinks he could just say he's going back to the hotel and they would just shrug it off to get out of going with them; they're not going to pester him about it, thank god.

 

**_Where are you guys going?_ **

 

Almost immediately Colton texts back with a name of a club that Alex thinks he once visited when he was still new to the NHL, he thought that going out after games all the time was the thing that hockey players did. 

 

He manages to escape going out with Team Canada and takes an Uber to the club straight from the hotel after changing out of his hockey clothes, his hands still sweating. 

 

Colton is wearing a plain white shirt and waiting outside, presumably for himself. “Alex, hey,” he smiles a bit wryly, “wasn't sure you'd actually come.”

 

“You're a lot more enjoyable than the other guys,” Alex manages as he shoves his phone into his pocket, taking in the outside of the club. “C’mon, I need a drink.”

 

The inside is about the same as he remembers, bright lights and everyone is under the age of twenty-five, except for himself. He doesn't think anyone cares, but fuck it makes him feel old. 

 

Colton ends up ordering them both tequila shots, which was not what Alex meant by a drink. “Cheers!” He says before downing his easily; it takes Alex a few seconds to stop staring and to actually do his own shot. It would help if he had eaten before he came here, because after the second shot he's already feeling it. Colton, however, looks to be just fine. “So, are you going to dance with me?”

 

All Alex can do is nod and follow Colton. This is so much like after they won their second round series, not the loss in the Conference Finals so much, this is too much of celebration than releasing anger. Colton’s smiling too much and there's the fact they're actually dancing rather than them just drinking and then going back to a hotel. 

 

He always forgets how tall, how broad and muscular Colton is until he's right up in his face. Until Colton’s hands are on his hips and they're moving to the beat of whatever song is playing that Alex has never heard of before. 

 

Neither of them are really  _ that  _ into. Alex can tell that there's something on Colton’s mind, because his hands loosen up on his hips and he looks distracted as hell. Alex, himself, is holding back because he doesn't want Colton to know that he's actually  _ that  _ into it. There's also the fact that, fuck, he really is too old for the club scene. 

 

“Do you, uh, want to get some air?” Colton says into his ear over the music and Alex nods, follows him outside and down the sidewalk as they walk away from the club. “I'm actually kind of tired and we play tomorrow, so…”

 

Alex’s stomach drops, because he must've done something wrong. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

Colton probably knows. 

 

“Wait, can I ask you something?” Well, if Colton knows that Alex likes him then he wants some answers. Or, really, just one answer to one question. Colton nods and puts his hands in pockets, unaware of what Alex is about to ask. “Why'd you kiss me that night after the press conference?”

 

There's a long silence between them, a few people walk around them when neither moves. “It was...I don't know why.”

 

He wonders if Colton was going to say the kiss was a mistake, he doesn't want to know the answer to that. “Really? You don't know why you kissed me?”

 

Colton shakes his head, “It was...forget about it, Petro, okay?”

 

It's weird hearing Colton call him  _ Petro  _ off the ice, because he almost always refers to him as ‘Alex’. It only stings a little. “We've slept together twice and then you kiss me out of nowhere.”

 

“I didn't think you'd remember and, really, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it. It was inappropriate and wrong of me to do so,” he says like he's reciting a rule from a handbook about kissing people. “It was…” Colton pauses and looks at the sky like he's looking for what to say next, “it isn't a big deal.”

 

Alex isn't sure how much of it is the truth or just bullshit to get him off his case about it. But it works, because Alex doesn't want to press any further, doesn't want to annoy Colton anymore. “Alright, fine, it was nothing. I'll see you later.”

 

“I didn't say it was nothing.”

 

“I'll see you later,” Alex says plainly before walking away to order an Uber.

 

\-----

 

They don't hang out for the rest of the tournament, which is fine, because the schedule has them playing almost every day or at least every other day. Colton doesn't even send a text congratulating him on the World Cup win and Alex tries not to read too much into it. 

 

They're both busy. Even the group chat is a little slow. 

 

It has nothing to do with how their last meeting went. 

 

When he finally gets back to St. Louis it's like a breath of fresh air, he couldn't be happier to get back into a regular routine. 

 

It's nice seeing all the guys again and gearing up for another season, even if it's still weird being in the locker room without David there. It's weird pulling on the sweater with a ‘C’ on it during his first preseason game. 

 

Even during the postgame scrum it's weird that he almost automatically has to speak. He figures he won't have to talk after every game, but it's just one more thing that he's looked at to do. Part of him almost thinks about texting David to talk about it, mostly he just wants advice on the captaincy. It's  _ real  _ now, but they haven't talked in months and he thinks the relationship is all but evaporated.

  
  


“Hey, Petro, want to get lunch?” Vladi asks one day of after practice.

 

Alex throws his gear into his bag, mentally counting down the hours until they fly to Chicago for the first game of the season, and nods. “Yeah, sounds great, Vladi.”

 

They're all but seated in the restaurant when Vladi smacks Alex’s arm. “You are ruining it, you know?”

 

A rush of anxiety suddenly comes over him, figuring Vladi is talking about the team or the captaincy or  _ something  _ to that effect. “Wh-what?”

 

Vladi scoffs and gives him a look. “I told Colton the same thing. Honestly, you two  _ like  _ each other it is not that difficult. He thinks  _ he  _ did something wrong, because you are not talking to him!”

 

He blinks once, twice, before he manages to process what he just said. “Are you... _ really? _ ” Is all he can say, because part of him is pretty sure he actually heard wrongly.

 

“Alex, Colton  _ likes  _ you, идиот! Are you blind?”

 

His face is definitely turning red, because whatever word Vladi just called him is correct. “I...maybe. How do  _ you  _ know?”

 

Vladi just smiles and takes a drink of his water. “He told me, asked for advice in Toronto during the World Cup. He knew after you two went out. How could not see it?”

 

Alex swallows, shrugs his shoulders, because he doesn't have an answer. Maybe he was so used to David, who wore his heart on his sleeve and you knew his exact emotions about anything. Alex could read him so easily that he knew the day that David was breaking up with him. David heemed and hawed the entire day about everything, looked uncertain about everything. He also knew when David was going to say “I love you,” because he just had a look of pure adoration on his face. It was easy with David, because he never had to guess what he was feeling.

 

Colton is much more reserved and holds back a lot more than David ever did. He's a harder read even while on the ice.  

 

“The same way Colton couldn't see it with me, I guess,” he says with a smile.

 

Of course, Alex thought he was pretty damn obvious about it.

 

But looking back, maybe so was Colton.

 

\-----

 

Looking back he realizes that Colton  _ was  _ obvious, flirted with them more often than he realized, let his looks linger a little longer, hung out with him more often than anyone besides Vladi, and, of course, that kiss. 

 

Even the stupid bickering about the kiss makes sense.

 

He wishes he could go back and ask Colton out sooner, he  _ should've  _ realized it dammit, but he'll have to settle with now.

 

Part of Alex wants to ask David if things were ever this complicated with him, but that would be an even worse idea than asking for advice about the captaincy. Even if he does wish he could still have some of David’s guidance. 

 

\-----

 

They win their home opener and Alex politely passes when the team ask him to go out with everyone else. He's full of energy, adrenaline, but at the same time he's absolutely exhausted and he still hasn't been back in St. Louis for that long since the World Cup.

 

He really misses his bed.

 

The walk out to his car is cold, fall quickly blowing into the city, but it feels nice after how hot it was in the locker room.

 

“Hey, Alex,” Colton calls out to him and then jogs up to his car, “just wanted to say congratulations on your first home win as captain. Big milestone and all.” 

 

Funny enough, that is getting easier to deal with thanks to, in large part, Vladi and Steener. 

 

Alex smiles widely and since he has all this adrenaline might as well do something with it, “Thanks. I was...I was wondering, would you like to go out sometime?”

 

Funny enough, Colton doesn't look the least bit surprised when Alex asks. “Like to a club?” He teases.

 

“No, I was thinking more of like on a date,” he isn't scared like he thought he would be whenever he thought about asking Colton out. Of course, he has Vladi to thank for that. He does owe Vladi big time for telling him and for helping this actually happen; maybe he’ll order him a fruit arrangement. 

 

Colton's smile grows to grin and takes a couple steps forward. “Did Vladi talk to you too?”

 

“Yeah, thank god, or else I would've thought that you hated me since we didn't talk at all after our fight,” Alex shakes his head, it's so obvious looking back at it now. “Vladi the matchmaker, hm?”

 

“Is there anything he can't do?” Colton laughs and Alex’s heart swells. “Well, I'll see you tomorrow at practice, okay? Maybe we can go out to lunch after that.”

 

They both just stand there for a moment, waiting for the other to make a move before Alex stands on his toes, something he's only had to do with Colton, to kiss him. It's better now that he knows Colton doesn't just want to fuck him, that they’ll actually go on dates and maybe fall in love. 

 

Alex thinks that he's already halfway there.

  
  
  



End file.
